Ray seems to respond to prolonged eye-contact as if being sighted by a pistol.
As he spoke, I found I could only meet his unsteady gaze for brief stints, and only whenever he raised it to hover anywhere in my general direction.
I listened to his whole story without interrupting, endeavoring even to move as little as possible so as not to disrupt his flow.
Once finished, he asked again about what I had been writing.
I told him I had made a note to ask if he thought Caylee would describe herself as being the same as him or different, and in what ways.
Something about Caylee was not adding up.
So far, she sounded like a Normal.
Details of young, Normal, female clients had connected in my mind as Ray spoke, all blurring together as usual.
Yet adolescent Normal females do not form close bonds with male Outlier peers; the social hierarchies of high school seem designed to impede such ties.
Ray never did speak to my question about how he thought Caylee would describe herself.
Do I suspect he was lying at all, or withholding information?
What he shared about their time under the bridge obviously contained elements that cannot be true in reality.
People do not forget their lives; they do not forget to eat and drink.
Ray mentioned having never had any thoughts of romance with Caylee; he also mentioned loving her.
And what set of teens would write off sex as unimportant?
If not for the fact that Caylee’s disappearance with Ray had been confirmed as voluntary, my assumption would be he just grossly overestimated their connection.
Such self-deceptive embellishments are not uncommon for Outliers.
Yet Ray, again, seems grimly aware of his particular peculiarities.
We will certainly be returning to the “bad thing that happened” before his time with Caylee.
At present, I am more concerned with measuring the exact weight and essence of his apparent fabrications or misrememberings.
ME:
“So you never talked about sex with Caylee?”
There was a long pause.
RAY:
“I think the love we felt was too… But no, I don’t think we ever talked about it.”
In all honesty, I was momentarily translated back to specific instances from the time of my own youth—though I should always endeavor to keep personal experience from affecting my assessments a priori (especially when it comes to what I choose to include in these new notes).
There simply must be more to Ray’s story for me to uncover.
My current conclusion is that his reported relationship with Caylee defies both biology and my extensive knowledge of Normal/Outlier dynamics.
We arranged another appointment.
I have plenty to roll over as I consider how to best dig further next time.
In a way, Ray comes across as unbelievably genuine.
I do not buy his innocent-at-all-costs routine, though I would not call it an “act.”
Any embellishments on his part certainly seem unintentional.
I don't know anything 